And Then There Was You
by watchingmewatchingu
Summary: The future looks grim, what will keep the Slayers afloat when their powers are useless? *characters death* Reviews are greatly appreciated
1. We Are Broken

_If I close my eyes and wish hard enough, I'm still there. I'm still at that place, where I call home.  
_  
The most important thing to remember is where you come from.  
The human body is no stranger to the hardest of punches, or the deadliest of kicks, or bluntest of objects. It's the words that will eventually break her down.  
The world won't stop for anything, not even the fragile people.  
So when the fragile people break, they tend to shatter into pieces.

Faith ran along the road, a road that never seemed to end. She was very precocious and suddenly she stopped. Faith had no idea where she world had changed and nothing would ever be the same again.

"Run, come on, run. What's the matter with you?" Faith felt furious, even though she had no reason to. "I can't, I can't run anymore." A voice calls out into the dim night.  
"Fine, stay here then, what do I care." Right after the words had left Faith's mouth, she regretted it. "I'm sorry, that was stupid. I'm sorry Buffy."

Buffy sniffles, she was shaking from the cold. "If you don't have anything nice to say, then I'd appreciate it, if you didn't say anything at all." She was right and Faith wasn't even going to try to argue. "It's getting dark, come on,"

The girls took cover under a tall chestnut tree, the leafs were since long gone. "Faith, I'm cold."  
Faith hadn't asked for this, she hadn't asked for the world to become what it had, she hadn't asked for war and starvation, she hand't asked for anything.  
She put her purple hoodie over Buffy and held her tight in her arms. "I'm afraid of the dark."  
Two little girls, alone, frightened and forgotten, in a world so distant from their own.  
As a matter of fact, it wasn't their world, their world didn't exist any longer.

"Everything is going to be alright, this too shall pass."  
Such a lie, it was all just a big fat lie.  
All of her life, Faith had been an expert at hiding her feelings. But when nobody sees, she lets her tears fall. The salty raindrop rolls down her cheek and falls to the ground.

Sometimes you feel so strongly for a change, but once it comes, you're not sure on how to react.  
Life's not a mystery, life's no cabaret.  
It's about that surviving instinct we all should have, but some of us lack. Maybe it's because we're looking for clues in all the wrong places.  
Maybe it doesn't get any better than this, or maybe life just _is_.

The night turns into morning.  
"Buffy, get up, we have to go." Buffy didn't move.  
They are living on borrowed time.  
Like sand in an hour glass, their lives are slowly fading.  
_We dive down towards the deepest and darkest of waters, further and further down we go. We try to catch our breath, only in vain, for the water has already filled our lungs.__  
_  
Faith has to drag Buffy along, they semi jogg as fast as their legs will let them. _'Never stop.'_ They come upon a crossroads. _'Left or right? Left or right? Quick, make a choice!'_  
For what is a choice? To choose between something that can bring both good and bad. "Why did you stop?" Buffy came to. Carefully she rubs the sleep out of her eyes. "Left or right, Buffy?" Her hand comes shooting out before her and she points to the left. Unwillingly Faith's legs pulls them the left.

Faith recites her unwritten letter for Buffy, in her head, always.  
The same as she had done for years and would do for years to come.

_'Still after all these years, it's something I keep within me. I just can't let go of the words and I can't let go of that place. Our constant fear of the dark is just a part of a world built on true madness. We walk alone, with broken promises, they splash on the ground and create drops of shame. I wish that you could see you like I do. I'm scared and I'm alone, I'm ashamed and I want you to understand that I'm damaged as I'm sure you know. __  
__I've always wanted you to ask me, ask me why I love you. I will forever remember how your eyes fill up and the green in them sparkle. If I could, I'd lick up the tears one by one and I'd kiss you and tell you why I love you. Or maybe… you could just ask me. __  
__This will for all eternity be our sanctuary of memories.'__  
_  
Faith turns around one last time. Her throat is dry, never ever had she thought that letting go would be so hard.  
All she knew now, was that the other side was waiting for them, weather it was something good or bad, was for them yet to see.

The constant fear of darkness traveled through their veins, but even that had become part of the world, which now would remain full of fear and madness.  
Faith let go of Buffy's hand. "Are you ready?" Uncertain, Buffy looked up at her.

Her eyes longing for salvation. Her hand, seeking compassion, waiting for Faith to once again take it in hers and she did and together they ran.  
They ran along the gravelled road.

There was rain in the air.  
No matter how tired they were, they wouldn't stop until they met the end of the road.  
Two little beautiful girls, looking puzzled, as if in a daze.

_This shall be for the torn down, the experts at the fall. Get up, you know you're not alone at all. _


	2. Arms Like Towers

Faith thought back on that exact moment, where their journey had just begun. Two Slayers with an overdose of illusions.

The spiral staircase made a squeaky sound for every step that was taken., but it had been a big part of why Faith had chosen the apartment. Not only was it located in the middle of central New York, it had also been empty, which had made it easier.  
The boiling water in the kettle on the stove, let out a whistling sound, in the same second as the phone started to ring.  
She wasn't going to answer today either, that would become the machine's job.  
A glimpse at her watch made her put a move on, the tea had to wait.  
In one quick motion the purple hoodie was grabbed off of the chair and the balcony door was slammed shut.

Faith leaped and then jumped from the edge of the balcony on to the rain gutter  
on the left side and from there over to the ledge of the roof top on the opposite side. Her hands made a connection with the tiles and somehow she got a firm grip and was able to pull herself up. "That was actually pretty close."  
_'Pretty close'_ was now more or less, lurking around every corner. She looked down over the flooded streets, they were everywhere.  
Virus infected, brain craving, living dead, zombies.  
How could this have happened?

Viruses.  
We all under some point in our lives, catches a virus. A bacteria which spreads throughout your body and causes your immune system to completely shut down.  
Yes, under some point in our lives we all catch a virus, where our personalities change and we lose all control over ourselves, our souls become replaceable.

The sun was beginning to rise, its raise hit Faith's face and she squinted up at the sky. Even though the sun had just rose, it wouldn't be long until the moon would gleam its light upon the dreary night again.  
The time had come.  
Her heart was racing faster than ever, it beat which such force that it felt as if her chest would burst.  
"Faith, are you there?" Her hand slid into her pocket at retrieved a walkie talkie, as she did this, the blue ipod slipped out along with it and fell onto the street below.  
She could hear it land and quietly pondered on wheather how many pieces it had broken into. "Shit." She sighed. "Are you there?" Asked a raspy voice. "Yes, what do you want?" Faith irritated as she was, replied. "What the hell is the matter with you?" Without any warning Faith burst into tears. "Faith, what's happened?" The tears came crashing down, she just couldn't stop. "My music died…"  
The voice on the other end laughed. "I'm glad that you find this humorous, really, hysterical. Idiot!"

Tonight was the nigh.  
Tonight everything they had fought for, would become reality. The elimination, the change. "Faith, are you coming over now, or will I see you tonight?" Yes, tonight was the nigh. "I have something that I need to take care of, so I'll see you tonight."

Faith leaped from one roof to the other, she swung herself out over giddy heights and blood sucking fiends.  
To reach street level, she would have to enter the ventilation system.  
Nothing new there, a daily routine, piece of cake.  
After two years the human civilization had learned the safest and fastest ways around town. She kicked opened the grate at the end of the tunnel. It came unattached after her foot came in contact with it for the second time.  
It fell to the floor with a loud crash.

The room below was pitch black, Faith had to take out her flashlight. Carefully she checked every possible corner she could, before she jumped down. She landed with both feet and hands touching the ground, in a perfect crouching position.  
A dragging sound could be heard. "Hey." No answer. "Buffy? I'm at Rockefeller Center, soemthing's about to go down." Only static could be heard from the walkie talkie. "Okay, do you need backup?" Moaning sounds and dragging of feet. Faith yet again tried to locate where it was coming from. "No, I'm good."

Slowly she went for her M9 Beretta, in her back pocket. _'The harder I hit, the faster they will run back.'__  
_Curiosity is a part of the human race.  
Our future depends solely on today's creativity.  
Faith aimed for the head.  
_Sometimes we choose things that will make us happy, but no longer than until tomorrow.__  
_So close and so intimate, yet so mind-bogglingly and dramatic.  
"I'm sorry but I have to do this, I have to do this in order to protect your sister Dawn."  
Buffy would keep on coming back there, her sister was her world. She just couldn't understand that Dawn, was no longer her sister.


	3. The Truth at Any Cost

They had to take the body with them underground, through the tunnels where the trains since long had stopped running. Empty. At the end of the tunnel, was a door, that led into a control room. Faith kicked it open. "What are we going to do with her?" Buffy closed the door behind them and bolted it shut. Faith placed the body on a mattress in the corner of the room. "I don't know, I just don't want her body to fade away along with the rest of them. This shouldn't have happened, it's all my fault." Faith grabbed a hold of her and slightly shook her. "You're right, this is entirely your fault, but you know what?" She sat down on the floor and dragged Buffy down along with her.

Blood was oozing out of the bullet hole in Dawn's head. "Sometimes things happen for a reason. Maybe Dawn was meant to stay here with us? Maybe there was a bigger plan for her? Better things are ahead."

Buffy tried to put pressure on the wound, but it was too late. Her hands were covered in blood. There was no point in eve trying. She slumped down beside her sister and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry Dawn, it was never my intention for you to get hurt." Faith pulled a strain of hair out of Buffy's face and placed it behind her ear.  
"Come on, let's go." Faith pulled her up again and led her to the ventilation system above them. Like frozen in time, Buffy stood still, while Faith went to grab a chair.  
"You first, but only if you promise to pull me up." Buffy nodded.

She stood on the chair and had to stand on her toes to be able to yank the grating down. "You know what? I know you stopped caring a long time ago and I know that it hurts, to not care I mean. Make them believe you care, even though the world does't." Faith gave her a push and waited with certainty for the hands that would pull her up.

"Hey, B. Do you ever regret anything in life?" Just because you can't see the wound, doesn't mean that it's not hurting. Buffy didn't want to take a stroll down memory lane. She didn't want to think about her past. Her mouth smiled, but her eyes did not.  
We're so used to bones breaking, it's just something we accept. When life breaks you down, then there's no science to save us.

"The world seems to be fallowing a pattern, we're all sorry for something. 'Sorry' doesn't mean anything anymore. So even if I would say it, you wouldn't believe me."

The virus had hit after the pulse. It was then that Buffy had started injecting herself, to stop the spreading. She was infected, but if a shot a day would keep the zombies away, then she would continue taking it, until her last breath left her lungs.


	4. Whole, Again

The snow had begun to fall, it looked like crystals slowly falling from the sky and melting as the touched the ground.  
Faith stuck out her tongue and caught one. "It doesn't taste like it did when we were little." Buffy shot her a questioning look, where she was laying on the rooftop. "Of course it doesn't, have you tried purré lately? They say it's good, but fuck if it tastes like it did when we were little. Don't you get it? Nothing will ever be like it was when we were little. When you grow up, your heart becomes cold and then it dies."  
Those words brought tragedy to Faith's ears.  
Even though she had heard them a million times before, it felt more real when they came form Buffy.

Faith went to stand by the railing, she leaned forward and and spit down, on the living dead, on the zombies. "Well that was logical." said Buffy who was now standing beside her. "Yes, relatively." The day was coming to an end. "You want to come over for dinner?" asked Faith as she climbed over onto the other side of the railing and stood with her back against it. "Don't know, maybe." Buffy needed to get the anti virus. Her heart was beating out of her chest. Her hand clutched on to it, she was holding on for dear life. "What are you going to do when there's no more?" Buffy hadn't thought about it, not really anyway. "That will be the day when I willingly give up. After all it's just a shell, what's important is what's on the inside. Our soul, that's what's important. Fuck the rest."

Faith placed her hand on Buffy's heart, so she could feel it beating, out of tune, but it was beating and it was a good out of tune heartbeat to her. "Do you believe in life after death?" Buffy sighed. "Faith, I have to. If I didn't, then I'd be scared shit less. I wouldn't be able to cope. Do you think that I want to die?" Of course she didn't want to die, but at times her joy of living disappeared and she became morbid. "I want nothing else than to live. We're all going to die, it's a fact. The question is just, when. What are you so worried about? We have all the time in the world." Buffy said jokingly and hit Faith playfully in the arm, who rolled her eyes.

"When you were young, what did you think the future would look like?" The question came out of nowhere, as did the answer. "Like this." said Buffy, to Faith's surprise. "What? No, honestly." What Faith didn't seem to understand was that maybe it was as simple as it had sounded. "Exactly like this."

The world was collapsing. We haven't treated it very nicely, so that's the way it goes. But don't forget, that every once in a while, it goes the other way too.  
People are always going to be different, they will stand out in a crowd and the crowd only exists in our own minds. We categorize ourselves, we give ourselves names.

"We can stay here, it feels nice to get away from everything sometimes. Away from all of the pain. The world has gone mad and not in a good way." Both of the girls looked down upon the streets. "You know I lied before, when I told you that I was happy?" They did everything to not make eye contact. "I don't know. It's like I'm trying to say 'I'm sorry' and I'm trying to do everything, but nothing is ever enough." Faith grabbed her and kissed her on the forehead, before she spread her arms and threw herself off the building.  
Buffy watched as her friend fell. She turned her back on the falling angel and closed her eyes. Not until she heard a window break, could she breathe again. For that mean that Faith had safely gotten into the building on the opposite side.

"Will you be over later?" could be heard through the walkie talkie. "Sure, later." Faith knew better than that, she knew that 'later' would never come. It was just something we're used to hearing. Everything is always 'later' why not say what you mean. "Okay, later." She looked up at Buffy and smiled weakly.

Yes, maybe it's exactly like this.  
To have the courage to care, to interact.  
All you need is a good heart. With your heart you can create miracles, you can change a person's life, hell, you can even change an entire world.


	5. Alright, Still

There's always cracks, a crack in the mirror or on your lip. All Faith could think was _'Just one more day, keep on pushing, just one more day.'_  
Buffy had once admitted do her, that she liked having her around and that the only problem had been Faith sharing her people. Jealous much? Buffy couldn't win and it killed her inside. Faith was prettier, Faith was in the end better, she was everything Buffy had always wanted to be.

Faith went to the fridge and got out the left over lasagna. "Oh joy." she popped it into the microwave and watched the plate of food go around.  
There was a faint knock on the door. "It's open." Faith yelled without taking her eyes off of the food. "Can we talk?" It was Buffy, surprise, surprise. "I'm not dead you know." And she wasn't, but she might as well be, considering how she'd bee acting lately. "I know you're not dead. Have I done something to you, or said something? Tell me what I did." Buffy just stared into thin air. She knew i her heart that this would not have a happy ending. "You haven't done anything. It's just, I feel like I'm alone fighting all of this. Fighting what's inside of me, fighting what's out there. I'm fighting everything, alone. I thought that we were a team. You want everything I have, but you can't be me." This if anything upset Faith. If Buffy wasn't in control, she would throw tantrums.

"You think that want to be like you? Boy are you wrong. I would never, want to be like you, Buffy." They're both hurting and their pain ca't be hidden any longer. "Faith, please. I believe in you as much as I believe in myself. I just need someone who can keep their promises. Time has flown me into thinking you're a part of me." Faith remembered Buffy's speeches being long and, somewhat meaningful. Now they were simply short and going nowhere. "Touch me and tell me if it's really me." Buffy intertwined her hands in Faiths'. "You're you, trust me." Faith let out a weak smile. They locked eyes and memories came rushing back. Such a past, so much history they shared with each other. "Did you cry when I told you I'd lied to you? I know I did. I never meant to hurt you and I don't think I even knew I did." They hugged briefly. "So we're good then?" Asked Buffy, Faith gave her a nod.

Buffy headed for the door. "You should rest, I'll be back soon." Said Buffy and closed the door behind her. Leaving Faith alone in the apartment, momentarily forgetting about the lasagna, food was the last thing on her mind.

Buffy barely reached the rooftop before her eyes started to burn and tears ran down her cheeks. She had been so worried about Faith and her future and their future, together. They wanted each other to be safe, to feel safe. To be loved, to feel love. Right now she was terrified. Terrified of what was to come. She had once said that she would never quit Faith, with her not quitting she thought that she stood a chance. She might even be alright again.


	6. With All Your Heart

Faith threw the lasagna in the trash and went into her bedroom. She got into bed without undressing and pulled the covers over her head. Soon enough she was asleep.

Buffy was back, she wanted to check on her, but she was afraid to wake her. She put her ear against the closed bedroom door. It gave a loud creaking sound as she opened it. No movement or sound, Faith was still in dreamland. Buffy was bruised, badly, but she would deal with it and suffer the consequences in the morning. "Hey pretty girl." She kissed Faith on the forehead and crawled into bed with her.

They had a burden that they couldn't share with any one. No one could feel what they felt. They had never said _'I love you'_ to each other, because they didn't know how to. The three simple words are sometimes the hardest to say. "I never thought I could feel this low. It feels like I'm sinking and I just feel like letting go. I know you only want to help, but maybe this time, I don't need your help, let me save myself for once." No. Faith needed her no matter what she said, Buffy knew that. "Why are you so filled with darkness? I think I get what you're trying to say, but all friendships can last forever, all you have to do is want it. Otherwise it's not even worth trying, you know?" Faith just nodded in agreement and as Buffy was about to open her mouth to continue on her speech, Faith interrupted her; "It's like when things don't go your way, on with the crane, because here come the waterworks." Buffy just glared. I only cry when someone I love is suffering. You're suffering and according to you, I'm not allowed to cry? Tell me this Faith, why is that? You think everything always ends okay and you don't need anybody. This is about you, but then again it always has been. I can't stay here."

_Pain, oh the pain.__  
_  
"Who's stopping you? Leave." _Let her come to you instead_. "I am." Faith scoffed and brushed it right off of her. "There's nothing in this room but empty space. Everything you say and do hurts us all more." Taken a back by what Faith just said, Buffy got on her feet. "I have a mission, to save the world. You think that the mission is all that maters to me. Well it's not. I care so much about you, probably more than you will ever know." Faith smiled shyly at her. She brushed the hair that had fell down over Buffy's face and kissed her bruised cheek. "I can't restore anything. Not my childhood, not the broken promises, not my memories that are fading along with stolen time, or the friendships that are no more. Sometimes, things happen for a reason and things get destroyed, things get wrecked, things get broken and all the glue in the world won't put them back together again."

Faith if anyone, knew what it was like to live inside of her head. She knew what it was like to create a fakeness that nobody could break through. "…and most people don't know what that's like, because of the simple fact that they're happy. They're so happy and their life is so full of joy and… joyness. But when you're not in that place, when you haven't found it yet, then it's hard to even explain where you're at mentally and when you do, they don't understand. So you stop explaining and you stay inside of your head, in hopes of no one ever finding you, or breaking through to you." She had been damaged because if, Buffy knew this. She had damaged her. Faith had given her the key, instead of using it, Buffy had chosen to use force. And Faith's world had crashed into millions of little sharp pieces, cutting her on their way down. She watched them, like broken glass floating on by. "Do you remember your childhood? Do you remember the good? Before it went bad? I don't. I've blocked it all out. I can't remember anything. My childhood is gone forever and I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. All I know is that it was much easier back then, when you didn't give a damn. I will never be whole again, I will forever be the puzzle with one piece missing. always."

They were at war, weather it be with themselves, or each other, or the world, they were at war.


	7. Breathe Until Tomorrow

"Faith, you have me constantly worried." Faith grinned wickedly. "I'm glad you're worried about me. Well, not glad in a way that I'd take advantage of your vulnerability, but still, I'm glad."

That night they slept in Faith's bed, hand in hand, chest to chest, face to face.

The morning there after, Buffy was up at the crack of dawn. "Where are you going? Come back to bed." Said Faith and tugged at Buffy's shirt, trying to pull her back down. "I have to go, I'll back tonight."

She knew it'd be a long wait, but she let Buffy leave, mainly because she was too tired to care.  
Faith went back to sleep and woke up three hours later with a blistering headache.

"Damnit!" Faith said and slammed the bathroom cabinet door shut. "Hey you." She spun around to find Buffy climbing through the open window. "You can't do that you know, you could get hurt." Yet she helped her get down. "Why not? Because it's wrong, right?" Faith was still holding Buffy's hands in hers. "I have to go. I need batteries and some sort of paracetamol." Buffy smirked and looked at Faith's watch. "How long you got?" Faith looked at the time. "Oh you know, all the time in the world." Buffy held a firm grip around Faith's wrist. "Let go. Seriously." She leaned in and gave her a kiss. Faith gasped for air, before she returned the kiss, this time more passionate, but still vicious and violent.

The shattering of windows could be heard from below. "We better go." Faith finally said. "Yeah… we have all the time in the world, right? I mean after we've saved the world, we have all the time in the world." Faith gave her a nod.  
Together they walked out of the apartment. The creatures had already entered the building and were making their way up the stairs. The barricades had been broken, Ripped into pieces, by hands of the undead.

On the roof , the cool breeze made their hair blow in the wind. "Faith, I want to go home." Faith thought for a second. "But, you are home. This is your home." Buffy shook her head. "No, this is not my home. I don't belong here. I'm so broken inside, we're so broken inside." Faith held the older girl in her arms and pulled them down to their knees. "I'm going to say something I've been wanting to for so long. I can't explain to you why you feel like you do, but you feel it every day and the worst thing about it is that I can't help you." Buffy had said it so many times, how she would always be there for Faith, no matter what, she would always help her, whatever the circumstances were. "If this isn't home, where do we belong? Because I've seen worlds that don't belong and if they don't belong, we sure as hell don't belong." Buffy stroked the brunette's hair and sighed deeply. "I've never lied to you, right? I mean, I haven't. I've always told you some version of the truth." Faith frowned and looked up at the exhausted older girl. They were so worn out, their bodies were as tired as their minds. Faith rested her head against Buffy's chest, who continued to run her fingers through her hair. "If I knew then what I know now, things would be different."

They shared a kiss, a kiss that might as well have been their last. "This right here, this is why I can never stop loving you. You're all about the care and the love." Buffy stared out into the day, the sun was shining and yet it was freezing cold. "Did I say something wrong?" She released her grip around Faith. "No, it's not you. It's them. They're coming. Remind me again how lucky I am to be alive, I keep forgetting."

The door on the rooftop flew open and left its hinges and came flying through the air. "They won't die." _I am stronger than you, I'm so much stronger than you._ "They're not exactly going to look on and help either." _Am I strong enough?_ "It's now or never." _Can't beat 'em, join 'em. Just don't forget who's…_ "Get off!" There comes a certain point when you have to fight back, they were at this point.  
Buffy grabbed the undead by its neck and slammed his head onto the ground, his head cracked open.  
Faith stumbled to the ground. Quickly Buffy came to her aid and pulled her up to her level. "Are you ready?"

It was then, staring into the haunting fear that stood before them, that their tortured existence was truly born. "At least now, we don't have to worry about life. We're not going to survive it anyway."

They stood on the ledge, looking down didn't seem so scary anymore. "It's a long way down." Faith said and squeezed Buffy's hand in hers. "Do you trust me?" They looked behind them and they weren't exactly standing still. "I trust you."

Don't be surprised when the world continues to turn, as you're down on your knees. Sometimes, just sometimes, some one will see you and if you're the luckiest person alive, then that some one might even help you.  
"Before we do this, I want to show you something." Faith handed her a piece of paper and Buffy recited; _'You're probably on you way back to your hometown. Know that I'm thinking of you. Most importantly I'm loving you. I've never been big on the sharing, but you make me want to share it all. My soul is forever intertwined with yours. I will keep a part of you with me for as long as I walk the surface of this earth. I want you to know that, if I never am to see you again, never laugh with you, or smile with you, or cry with you, I will always love you'_

Yes it was cheesy, but at a time like this it didn't matter much. It was Faith's words, they were her own and they were from her heart flow. They both closed their eyes.

The piece of paper swayed in the breeze, it danced with the snowflakes.

This time there was no sound of crashing windows, they were gone.  
The earth had swallowed them whole.


End file.
